Glossary

A&P Airframe and Powerplant, a pair of ratings for mechanics that work on planes.

ATC Air Traffic Control.

CFI Certified Flight Instructor.

CFII Certified Flight Instructor that teaches instrument flying.

emditz (em•dits) n. Derived from the initialism MDTS for More Dollars Than Sense. Derogatory term for a yacht or airplane owner, a clueless person, usually male, who has wasted his life in pursuit of money, at the expense of living a full and varied life. Attempting to reverse Time, an emditz throws excess cash at yachts and planes he has no chance of operating, requiring the aid of people like me.

FBO Fixed Base Operator. Fuel, lessons, rentals, mechanics, books, vending machines and other stuff for aviators at the airport.

FSM Final Mile Syndrome: Disaster due to relaxing too soon, thinking you're almost there.

forever (fəˈr•e•vər) adv. Five years. See also never. See also ever.

IFR Instrument Flight Rules. Flights must be conducted under these rules when in the clouds. Flights may be conducted under these rules at any time.

PISRON (pis•ron) n. Perceived Important Sailing Regatta, Oxymoron Noted.

SALAD (säläd) n. Solipsism and LAyered Dreaming. Solipsism is the most self-centered and narcissistic philosophical idea that the self is all that can be known to exist. Also known as me. Salad then becomes the irrefutable theory that this absurd existence takes place on a layer somewhere in a stack of dreams, substituting myself for god. See "Pagan User's Manual, Volume Two: Dreams" for details.

SUVASM (sue•vasim) n. Hair pulling soccer mom or greed driven dad pissing life away, baking on scorched asphalt under rainless, smoggy skies, driving Savage Utility Vehicles armed with various weaponry. They're either idling at signals or speeding but mostly creeping along, oblivious to the miracle of their existence.

Tartarus (tɑr•tər•əs) n. The deep abyss that was used as a dungeon of torment and suffering for the wicked and as the prison for the Titans. Tartarus was the place where souls were judged after death and where the wicked received divine punishment.

Tight Ass (tīt•as) n. The contraption for ejecting shit off a boat is commonly called the head but should be called The Ass. For most people shit doesn't come out of their head, it comes out of their ass, with the exception for many of my shipmates who spew endless bullshit from their mouths. And since on boats The Ass is small, it should be called the tight ass.

VASI Visual Approach Slope Indicator. Lighting system on the side of a runway that indicates whether the plane is above, below or on the proper approach angle.

VOR Very high frequency Omnidirectional Range. A big name for a navigation radio that spews out directional stuff that non-GPS pilots use to find their way.

VFR Visual Flight Rules. Flights must be conducted under these rules when the pilot does not have an instrument rating. Flights may be conducted under these rules when the weather is (mostly) clear.