Volume: 2

Icarus Melts

A market correction for my image and reputation.

In auto racing, cars line up behind a pace car, run a lap or two, the pace car gets out of the way and off they go. It's quite civilized. For runners on a track, the participants stand behind a line or put their feet in starting blocks, a starter fires a gun and off they go. Civilized again. Horses have to get into a starting gate. There is nothing civilized in that sport.

Not yachts. An imaginary line exists between two flags floating in the water. Boats mill around behind the line while time counts down. When the clock reaches zero, off they go. The race committee monitors the line and tries to ensure that no one has prematurely crossed it. If someone has, they're assigned some sort of penalty, depending on a lot of factors.

Most races start upwind. The committee attempts to set the flags in the water so that the imaginary line is perpendicular to the direction of the wind. This is impossible as the wind is always shifting sometimes by one degree, sometimes five degrees, sometimes twenty degrees, sometimes 180 degrees. If the wind shifts too much, the committee abandons the start and sends a small boat out to adjust the line to the new wind direction, pissing everyone off. Once the flag has been moved and the imaginary line is perpendicular to the new wind direction, the time sequence is restarted whereupon the wind shifts back to where it was originally. After a few of these gyrations, the committee throws up their hands, lunch and flags, says ah fuck it and starts the race anyway.