Christian Science was at its most cruel as my mother existed in a physical no-man's land, unable to obtain relief from her pain and left unable to either save herself or kill herself. The human body isn't too good at checking out painlessly so while my family held on to their beliefs that they would be the first to overcome the ravages of the material world without medical assistance, my mother would have to endure the pain and put off the inevitable that much longer. With each upward trend in my mother's cycle, my father became hopeful one more time that their benevolent god would smile on them and preserve her life through the magic that is supposed to arrive with the repetitive Christian Science chanting. Was my mother confused, disappointed or praying? At any rate, for one of the most devout believers in that faith there remained no sign of relief. Each ride on the roller coaster down to the bottom was more painful than the previous one.